“I don’t really know.” Oceanstorm tilted her head to her brother. They were strolling through the berry flats, a sprawling bushland populated by small fruit-bearing scrub. Nothing edible, though some were said to have medical benefits.
“I guess I was just hunting, as Briarstep said? It adds up, if I’m as much of a risk-taker as everyone says.” The corners of her mouth curled upward wryly. But the smile did not reach her eyes. Silence fell briefly over the conversation. Overhead, the patchy graying clouds were overtaking what remained of a blue sky. All through the low-lying thicket, a cool wind chased dead leaves and forest debris. Autumn was certainly advancing. A pensive time. A time for reflection.
“Hey…Amberhawk.” Oceanstorm abruptly stopped walking. She was looking not at him, but at something unseen in the beyond. Her gaze was focused and rounded, though nothing but grass and brush lay ahead.
“There’s something I wanted to talk about.” She began slowly, feeling her way through the sentence. “I keep having these thoughts- dreams, too. In the dreams I’m hunting but..it isn’t just hunting. When I kill the prey I roll in the blood, it felt warm and wonderful on my paws.” Her entire body shuddered. It had felt so pleasurable in dreamland, but awake she felt horrified by those sensations.
“A-and sometimes even when I’m awake I….my thoughts drift that way.” she turned now to look at him, even though she was petrified of what she would find there. “Every cat I look at, I feel these awful urges to…to hurt them.”
“Am I crazy? Was I crazy… before?” She could feel her heart slamming against her ribs as the words finally flowed. “I know my eye is damaged- dad says it was a hunting accident, but he couldn’t look me in the face when he said it. I feel like he’s lying. What isn't he telling me?” She trailed off, speaking more to herself in the end.